It was a late morning on a mid-summer day when the warm Oregon wind began to blow through the open windows of the sunlit bedroom. Anyone who were to walk into this bedroom could tell it was occupied by a young girl, with colorful walls and string light that swayed with the wind. As the power of the wind blows through, moving the photos and posters back and forth against the wall, the young girl who called this room home began to wake up with the sound of the sketch books and novel books on the light wood desk by her bed flipped open. However, even that would not fully wake up the young girl.  No matter how hard, even her mom tried to make her wake up early to spend “quality time” with the newly made family of her mother, stepparent, and little brother. She would much rather spend her days during these months much like any other 10-year-old, sleeping in till the afternoon, playing video games until her eyes hurt and waiting for anything to happen. Sleeping in was her favorite part of the early summer days, for these were the quiet moments where she allowed herself to get lost in her own fantasy worlds. These moments were becoming fewer and less obtainable for her as she got older.  

As she turned her body over the right side of her bed, she could feel herself being transported to her most visited world. A world where things stay the same, and she could feel that safety net that she had been unable to acknowledge missing since her dad passed away. In this world, she imagined her character, a girl around her age, as a princess of the wind kingdom. A kingdom that is powered by the wind, uses the breeze to protect, and where the royal family has a strong connection to the power of air and a dark force trying to push the princess away from her home. It would seem like a simple story to any third person of a young princess who discovers who she is meant to be with the help of her family, but it was a comforting story for her. In this world, she would see her father, or a king the resembles the aspects of her father that she could remember. Days like this one reminded her of this story, of her dad, as if the wind were calling on her. 

The sounds of the rest of her family walking around outside her room began to fade into the background as she fades into this world.  However, just as she was close to finding that much needed ending, she snaps back into being in her room to hear a loud knock on the door and a child screaming following after it.  

“Em-la!” screamed the child, Emelia sighed as she turned around, facing the door, and pushed herself out of bed. She began to slowly open the door, but the impatient young child had begun to push themself through the door once they had noticed it opening. “Good morning, Oliver...” Emelia sighed again but with more of a faint smile, as the young boy grabbed onto her leg and began jumping excitedly.  

“Em-la, Play! Play!” He shouted the same thing to her every day during these last months of summer. For most days she would join in for an hour or two just to satisfy her young stepbrother. However, today she could feel herself becoming increasingly numb to the idea of this match shift family that her mom had created for them within the last three years. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy playing with Oliver, there were times when she would have a blast making up story for him to play with the toy as.  

“I am so sorry, dear. I tried to tell him that I could play with him, but mom is not as fun to play with as big sis...” her mom came in try and help remove the young boy from Emelia. They both looked down at the young boy.  

 It wasn’t like she was forcing herself to grow up, she wanted with every fiber of her being to stay in those worlds that her little brother would make with her. Whenever she looked around recently, there was no one else around in the same space as her. Everyone else had moved on from those ideas, and she felt she needed to catch up or else they all would leave without her. Her small number of friends had made it clear that they were done with those ideas and moved on to more teenage topics like school and boys. And although her mom had never told her directly, Emelia could tell that she wanted the pre-teen girl to find better uses of her time. Something that could help Emelia work through the passing of her dad. Her mom had managed to work through that within the last 5 years after his passing after finding her new stepparent, but for Emelia it wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she knew the world around her had already changed and she needed to keep up with it. However, the feeling of being left behind mixed with the unknowing how to catch up made that idea harder for me.  

“It's ok, mom. I was just getting up...” she smiled tiredly, to try and assure her mom that everything was all right. For a moment, Emelia could see part of her mom not fully believing her words, but she continued with her little brother and pretended that everything was okay. 

------ 

It had been an hour of Emelia entertaining her little stepbrother when she needed a break. While the decision didn’t make her young sibling very happy about it, as the hour went by, Emelia felt herself needing to separate herself from the child-side of herself.  

As Emelia walked down the halls of her newly renovated home, with walls filled with new and old family photos and moving boxes still waiting to be unpacked after months of living there; she felt that lonely breeze once again blowing for the window at the end of the halls. Few places in this house made Emelia feel at home, the first being her room, which was made to feel as much like her old room as she could. The second was the staircase next to her room that led to the kitchen, which was one of two staircases in the house. One reason was the view from the top of the stairs, at night she could clearly see the wind blowing through the forest of trees outside her home. The other reason was a secret only she knew from those tall stairs, she could hear conversations clearly from the kitchen. She had overheard her mom talking about presents for her and her little brother, and fights between her and Emelia’s new stepparent. However, someday, much like this one, she had come down the stairs to hear a conversation that scared her, one that was about her. 

“I just don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like we’re losing her... I thought giving her time was enough, but it's been hard to connect after his passing...” Emelia could hear the sound of her mom moving the chair to sit down at the kitchen island.   

Emelia couldn’t completely hear what was said next, but she could tell from the sound of the whisper that it was her stepparent, clearly talking quickly in case anyone else was listening. They had found Emelia in the exact spot before listening in on conversation about her and had sat with her until those talks had ended.  

“I know...I just feel like she is missing out on so much. Like she’s being left behind, but no matter how hard anyone tries she just stays there. I can’t bring him back to help her, but it feels like she rather be in those worlds with him than here in the real world...” 

The more she listened to her mom’s words, the tightening continued to grow. This feeling was something she hated. All that anxiety and fear of being left behind was coming back up in her mind as her mom's words confirmed what she thought was true. She thought for a moment, there was a chance her mom did not mean these words; however, she couldn’t gather the bravery to walk in and ask that. Instead, she turned herself away and ran as far as she could outside of the house into the deep forest near the street. The combination of her fears being realized along with the power of the breeze blowing made her feel as if she were faster than she could ever imagine. As if the wind were pushing her away to somewhere she could feel safe again, much like the safety of her imagined world.  

Once she had finally stopped herself from running any farther, it had all begun to set in. She stood there in the middle of the trees, clutching her fists, eyes closed, to force herself to breathe. Slowly she could feel herself breathing again as the gust swayed her in a calming motion. She could remember times where her dad would hold her from behind to do that exact feeling, and she could feel herself going back into the world. However, this time was different. She was not a princess trying to save her kingdom from crumbing around her, she was just Emelia. A girl who had experienced loss and change at such an early age that she hadn’t fully realized until that moment.  

As she closed her eyes, she began to listen and feel which way the breeze was blowing, as if it were guiding her to something. She started to follow each change of direction and with each step she could feel herself moving closer to being able to catch up to the people and things that she had felt had left her behind moments ago. She walked for quite some time, only listening to the brushes in the trees above her and the leaves that would flow past her as the wind continued to blow.  

When the wind stopped, she would stop, and when it started again, she would continue to walk again. This continued for a few minutes, until the gale seemed to have finally stopped. Emelia took a deep breath before opening her eyes to see what the air brought her to. Thoughts of a hidden house, or a magical lake, anything that would show some kind of meaning or ending to this story in her mind. However, when she did open her eyes, all she could see was an endless forest of trees all around her. Up above the trees almost covered the blue sky, making it seems like the time had skipped to the afternoon.  

That when it set in, this wasn’t a story, Emelia wasn’t going to find some magical object that would solve her problems at once. She was looking for something that could not be fixed. She was lost, she had made herself get lost by getting caught up in her imagination, she needed to get back home. Back to brother who just wanted someone to play with, her stepparent who gets trying despite Emelia not making it easier for them, and to her mom who was worried about her for the exact reason she found herself lost in the forest for. Emelia felt her legs get weak as she fell to the forest floor. Sitting on her knee with her head in her hands, she began to feel that familiar feeling of pain in her chest again as she tried to calm herself down to think properly about the next step forward.  

As she sat on the dirt covered ground, she could feel the gust begin to start again, instead of sound bring Emelia, it feels more like a loud roar of thunder. So loud that it almost trumpets the pounding in her chest. Over the roaring of the breeze and the pounding of her chest, she can almost make out a voice calling. It was a faint sound, something quiet against the wind that Emelia felt was all in her imagination until she heard it again. The second time it was heard, she looked but saw nothing in front of her. With that the voice went away again.  

She felt the wind push against her, almost as if it were trying to point out something to her. She started to notice it blow to something to the left of her. It felt like a fruitless effort to once again let the wind decide after it sent her to the middle of the forest. However, this moment felt like it did in the beginning. Emelia could not explain it herself, but something was telling her to look.  

“Em-” she heard the voice for the third time, less muffled by the wind. She took one more deep breath in and stood up, turned her body to face the left side in which the wind was blowing her towards and could see a figure running towards her. At first glance she could not tell who it might be, as it got closer, however, she could tell. The moment she realized the wind slowed down once again to reward her, everything went silent and then she finally heard.  

“Emelia!!” Her mom’s voice was loud and clear but filled with the sounds of a worried mother.  

Emelia at once ran as fast as she could to reunite with the safety of her mom’s arms.  

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Oliver saw you run out of the house into the forest...” her mom said once they both had finally warped each other in their arms.  

“I-I'm sorry, mom...” Emelia felt tears coming up again for her.  

“I should be saying sorry, dear... Oliver shows you run out the house and I could already tell it was what I said that made me feel the need to run...” her mom stopped, “I’m sorry dear...I know sometimes when I say things it doesn’t come out as well as I would like. I just don’t want to lose you and there so much we never talk about...” 

“I know...”  

“It was a windy day like this one was your father passed...” her mom paused for a moment, and Emelia could tell she was trying to hold back the same emotion Emelia found herself doing. “I thought, at the time, that it was fitting. Like the wind was blowing him away to somewhere safe, but unreachable for me. When warm windy days like this happen, I always end up thinking about him. I didn’t realize till recently but maybe the wind started to push you away from me along with him that day...” 

Emelia fell silent, she felt herself doing that same thing. It wasn’t until her mom mentioned that day that it finally dawned on her why she would feel more distant during those windy days. “I didn’t want to worry you...I’ll try to be more aware and dependable for you, I’ll work on growing up more, so you don’t have to worry about me as much.” Emelia spoke faster than she thought she could. She knew growing up was something she had to do, despite how much she wanted to continue to run away into her fantasy world.  

“Oh honey, you don’t need to worry about all that...you’re 10, you should be enjoying being a kid...” Her mom held her tighter, as if it was the first time hugging each other in months. As they both stood there, Emelia could feel that warmth of the wind once again, reminding her that she would be okay.  

Although it didn’t make things better at once, Emelia could tell something new was blowing through the air. A new feeling, that made her feel unsure but a different uncertainty that she knew she could handle it as she moved forward with the wind pushing her ahead.